Cuttles never thought he'd find the day someone this perfect would fall into his lonely tentacles. Tootie is thrilled someone as interesting as Cuttles is just as fascinated with her. They both feel a deep spiritual connection, enhanced by their shared love of the nightlife.

Both hail from the town of Hansigurumi-ville (different sides of the track), and they are looking forward to having a flock of Knitpicks Highland Wool children in a tree by the sea.

Cuttles is totally copping a feel.

*PS

Thank you all for the sympathy with the car window. The assfucks only (only, sheesh) took a GPS we had in the windshield. We always put it away, and the ONE NIGHT we don't, some motherfucker gets his chance to be a piece of shit. Well, it's behind us now, and I have a new GPS (and window), and that bitchass cockwad has a desperate life of crime that will end in jail and ugly prison tattoos. I WIN.

Not that I didn't hate people before, I just hate them $600 more now.

This week I'm combo house/dog sitting for a coworker. It's a very interesting life experience, I tell you. See, I live in a small apartment in a rather urban-esque area (Arlington, VA. I mean, we are like 5 minutes outside of DC.) with zero dogs, and my coworker...so does not. I'm in the 'burbs. With woods. Seriously, I totally saw a hawk kill something the other day. And the house is pretty major, as in, she has a front staircase and a BACK staircase. That seems like a lot of staircases, to me. The house is very big and very, very quiet. It's too quiet.

I can hear the pipes groaning. Or maybe it's ghosts. OMG, maybe it's an escaped mental patient from Pleasant Hills Abnormal Psychology Centre and Haunted House with Extra Homicidal Maniacs That Are Way Into Plumbing.

I'm done housesitting this Sunday, so if I don't post by Monday, the 24th, PLEASE send someone out here to save me from Slashy McPsycho the Killer Ghost. Check by the pipes.

PS

One of the dogs tried to eat my knitting. Succeeded in eating some shoes. And the beta food. And a random thing on the ground that may or may not have been organic and was probably poop. Is now trying to eat his own foot. Gotta run.

...or a chef?

One delicious little octopus, knit from another Hansigurumi pattern using Brown Sheep Nature Spun. There are pipe cleaners in his little legs so they can be posed. Oh, and I think I have him facing away from the camera, but I think he looks cute this way.

Look what Christie from Superstarra -ville sent me! And with the sweetest little card, too. I'm going to hug him and kiss him and call him George. Thank you, Christie!!

Uh oh, bad George! Stop eating Bob! Don't you know that he is made of Elsebeth Lavold Angora using size 7 Knitpicks Options needles? (Kim the Author: "Damn, that was smooth.") Well, okay, you look cute devouring his flesh. And he can't scream, because he doesn't have a mouth.

This baby elephant is not taking any chances. He sees George looking at him and licking his zippered chops and he is getting the fuck out of town. Or, er, the couch, as the case may be. Whatever, he will make friends with George later. After he survives. Note to self: Rename George, "Tsathoggua." Second note to self: Learn how to pronounce George's new name.

Across the living room, a slug attempts an escape by flinging himself over the armchair. If only he could unstick himself from the leather. Tsathaggua-George is so misunderstood. But once I fill him with stitch markers and measuring tape, he'll never hunger for knitted flesh again.

All creatures besides Bob are made using Brown Sheep Nature Spun, a reasonably priced, 100% wool, worsted weight yarn. I rate it 2 for softness, 9 for hardiness. Let's just say a lot of ripping happened to earn it that 9. I bought the patterns from Etsy vendor hansigurumi. Check her out, she's got a lot of adorable and unusual patterns. They're on Ravelry, too. I learned about hansigurumi from the fabulous Kathryn Ivy, who makes something beautiful just about every single day, and I totally stalk her.

P.S.

I can kitchener stitch now! And I learned the provisional cast-on. Knittinghelp.com is the shit.