Did y'all know that Haagen Daz doesn't really cure a sore throat? I think that fantasy was finally destroyed for me today. Ice cream, however, has been the only food I can force down, and one does need food to live, so I guess it all evens out in the end. I guess it could be worse. I coud be able to eat only evil non-fat ice cream.

Our apartment is about ten feet away from the communal pool. I call it, "The Diaper Wash," because for some reason all the young mothers (there are many here) cannot seem to grasp that it is FUCKING NASTY to let their babies swim in the pool in their gigantic soggy diapers. Chlorine can only do so much, yo. I also call the pool, "Pinkeye Waiting to Happen."

Anyway, as I have been confined to the bed what with wobbly legs, wobblier stomach and a grande mal headache that's taking it's sweet ass time dissipating, the day long joyful screeching of these diapered babies in the pool ten feet from my window is less than heart warming. Does it make me evil that the only laugh I laughed all day came from the rapid scrambling everyone did to OMGGETTHEFUCKOUTTATHEPOOL when the thunder rumbled? If anyone thinks that is wrong, then you may go swimming in the Screaming Pool of Cess.

I just totally thought of the name for my new horror movie. "Screaming Pool." The tagline will be, "The DEATHGUARD is always on duty!"

I can't believe I forgot about my own finished object galleries. Anyway, I've updated them, if you care to look.

What we have here, folks, is a prime example of one of great bonuses of knitting. I'm talking about the knitting that impresses the panties off of non-knitters (and beginner knitters) but is really not complicated once you read the instructions. 

Yes, I did take this picture at midnight. Why do you ask?

I kind of like it, all the same.

I've put this down for now, to work on a sweater. I have a good feeling about this one. And it's a stashbuster!

Y'all know I'm the perpetual silver lining finder (not). Well, I've found another one. Even though the nausea and loss of energy from my medication makes life pretty boring (think "I Love the 80's" reruns. All day.) it really keeps my appetite down! I've lost 7 pounds!

Many of you don't know that in addition to being a babe, Monkey King is also The Booger Fairy, leaving salty morsels of nose gold for good girls and boys around the world.

I guess you could click for a larger picture, but do you really want to be the person who clicks to enlarge a picture of boogers? Look at yourself in the mirror and think about it.

Yes, readers, my boyfriend left giant boogers on my nightstand.

So. Here's that scarf I was knitting.

Specs (meager as they are)

Needles: Denise Interchangables, size 11

Yarn: Berroco Plush, one ball of each color

Pattern: My own genius came up with this one. Cast on 15 stitches. Knit two rows in color A. Knit two rows in color B. Repeat until you run out of yarn.

Final thoughts: Best. Scarf. Ever. It feels like a mixture of air, kittens and rose petals. Complex, but pleasant.

You KNOW you've thought of it.

I was giddily going through the most recent Bottery Parn catalogue (what, you don't get giddy over catalogues? I'm weird?) and lo. There be knitted furniture of a non-fugly (mostly) nature! I posted them below for formatting reasons. Namely, I don't know how to format.

So I'm thinking. And thinking. And surely, a thought begins to form. Now, I know I can't knit with seagrass. I'm probably allergic to it or something, not to mention trying to figure out how to block it, calculating gauge, or shit, going to the...nature? to find some. BUT! I bet similar items could be made using gigantor cotton/wool yarn held double or triple. Say, like, handpaintedyarn.com's bulky six-ply? That and a pair of size 50 needles, an old ottoman, and some sort of upholstery stapling device and voila! A completely random project!

Anyway, here are my favorites. Someday...someday...