'Allo. I am the wee elephant doll. You covet me instantly, for I am small and cute. Also, I have the fashion sense. Do you not see me matching my kerchief to my swim trunks? The swim trunks also give the impression that I take care of my physique.

Click for the large, exquisitely detailed picture of moi.

Kim crafted me in about 13 hours. So inauspicious! She followed a pattern in that book, Last Minute Knitted Gifts. A very nice book. Of course, she futzed a few details. She is so like that. "Oh, but I am the drunk! Oh, but I am the tired! Oh, but I am the heavily medicated!" Enough excuses, woman! What's that? Stop slurring and speak clear-Oh, ok. Kim wants me to tell you that she used the Cascade 220 yarn in the navy and the white to do the knitting. My insides are polyfill stuffing.

Gah, there must be something in the waters of Virginia, for all the womens are pregnant. My guess is sperms. Kim's boss (not the yeti thing she posted about below) just welcomed a boy grandchild today, and Kim has graciously decided to gift me to the young turd. A most generous gift indeed! Is it not said that the white elephant is amongst the rarest of the creatures?

Off I will go. Nice meeting me, yes, I know, yes, you are fulfilled by your chance encounter here. Ok, go bye bye.

First there's this:

Whoops

That's Monkey King's car. No one was hurt, but the car is beyond hope. Goodbye, car. In case you're wondering, it was ruled Monkey King's fault, but we believe the other party blew through a yellow light at least.

Then we did this, this past weekend:

This was before a bird shat on me. I'm serious.

Five hours each way to Ocean City, MD (Delaware, actually, but why nitpick?). I don't think we'll do that again, at least not for a shitty DAY (singular) at the beach.

Leaving very little time for this:

Check out that increase action!

I'm spending most of my time and stash these days making pom-pons. Why? Good question. I didn't exactly think it through. But I can see the bottom of my stash box now!

Nothing to do with knitting.

My late nineties early 2000's people, please click this link and go to Go Fug Yourself. Locate the entry on Ethan Embry, aka My Imaginary Boyish Boyfriend (from my teens [fine, early twenties], OKAY?). Let's hug and cry and stuff. No man NO MAN should be doomed to the fate of Paul Giamattism ,let alone my teen (20's) crush!

I am especially tortured by this because for whatever unfounded reason, Paul Giamatti provokes a really harsh reaction out of me. So much so that I think if I ever turned around and saw Paul Giamatti standing there, wheezing his own business, I'd probably freak out and claw his face off. Just something about that pale, moist little man drives me over the edge. I just want to spray him with Lysol and kick him into traffic. After slapping him. God, I'd better wear gloves though, lest I touch him with my bare skin. *shudder*

I am knitting with wool. It is a billionty degrees outside. How do I cope? By knitting bottomless.

Yes, y'all, knitting is a ladylike hobby indeed.

But I'm on so many right now you'd think they'd gone and made dieting a sin.

Yarn Diet: Ok, I know I just bought some that Cork, but I have GOT to use up my stash. I am so tired of looking at my yarn it's not even funny. Luckily, I just bought Alterknits and they have a lovely pattern for a gigantic felted tote bag. *sigh* Speaking of books...

Book/DVD Diet: Last weekend I bought Bloodsport starring Jean Claude VanDamme. I have a sickness. I must cure myself. Also, we are out of shelf space at The House of Skein*.

Food Diet: I've lost some, but I'm still about 12 pounds away from my goal weight. Then I will finally be skinny enough to work out in public! 

What we are going for here, people, is extra room to move around. And saving up money for a move. A large move. Next year. And the subsequent decorating that will accompany such a move. (I may invite Monkey King. If he's good.)

PATTERN UPDATE: Finished the knitting on prototype #1. I just have to throw it in the wash and see how it shrinks down.

*Totally my back up name for this blog