Warning: This is a virtually snark-free entry. I'm sorry, and I plan to return to a much more sarcastic place when I'm done being so, well, happy.

I have a confession. I am that person, the one with the blasted luck who never wins anything and never gets closer than fifth place. Well, I once won a pillow from my chiropractor, but I don't think that really counts because it was ugly and my insurance pretty much paid for it. Other than that, I've never won a thing in my life. I owe it to my laziness laid back nature and a possible gypsy curse.

But this year! This is the year for Kim! I've been given not one, but THREE "You Make My Day" awards from the following lovely people:

Sara of Bella Knitting
Nina of Knit in Denmark
James of subdue it with a sweater

These bloggers definitely deserve a million YMMD awards of their own, and from what I understand, I am now to spread the love to other bloggers who make my day. I wish I could just cut and paste all the people who take the time out of their day to leave comments here on Yarn Abuse because every. single. comment makes my day, without fail. And all the emails I've received because of this site, even the ones who are like, "I don't understand your pattern instructions," or, "I don't knit but I read your blog anyway." Because everyone (besides the occasional ass-face) has always been extremely sweet and positive. Everyone I've been in contact with through this blog/knitting groups/Ravelry  deserves this award because, for lack of a better word, this has been the most rewarding endeavor I've ever undertaken. /schmoop

Unfortunately, I have that gypsy curse that makes me too lazy to post the thousand or so links to do that, so I will confine my acknowledgements to the following bloggers. These are people that I always look forward to reading, for their excellent writing and fabulous knitting projects. Plus, they seem like really cool people that I could down pitchers of girl-drinks with while gossiping about ugly patterns.

The 21st Century Hostess
haphazard knitter
The Knitting Knot
Micah's Reality Tour
Superstarra
Very Pink
Yarn Ball Boogie
Cashmere Blend
yaiAnn

I think my day has done been made for this quarter, because yesterday I made a trip to Kohl's department store to cash in some gift receipts and I came home with this baby:

I have absolutely NO idea how to use this, but hey, it's a first step. Also, if this is considered "lightweight," I would hate to try lugging around a normal one.

Dear anyone reading this who has any online resources for, um, instructions:

Please let me know!

Thanking you in advance,

The World's Happiest Yarn Abuser

I have two schedules these days: I wake up, I zombie through the daylight hours, I go to yoga, I collapse into sleep. Or, I wake up, I stumble through the daylight hours, I collapse on the couch because my body hates me for going to yoga, and then I go to sleep. I wonder if I'm just not made for exercise. Like, maybe my special purpose is to just make fun of everything from my couch? And muscular oiled up menservants will carry me around and do my bidding?

Okay, a girl can fantasize. Yoga is actually going okay. I like some instructors and to endure the others I just follow my life's philosophy of If You Can't Beat Them, Mock Them. Um...but not to their face because I totally sense a lot of repressed rage in some of these yogis and, also, they are really limber and it's kind of intimidating. Like they could Go Go Gadget Leg and kick me in the mouth from across the lobby.

So on those nights when I'm too stiff to even think about evil yoga, I've managed to get some knitting done. Let me tell you, it's all about the dropped stitches these days.

First up, blocking away, we have our dropped stitch scarf of Jaeger Trinity. This was a stashbusting project but, damn it all, I still have a ball of this shit left.

Here is a less artsy shot so you can get a better idea of the stitch pattern. It's just 10 rows of stockinette, then a row of dropped stitches. While pinning this out, I found that I had dropped a stitch on one of the drop stitch rows (somewhere, you can hear the knitting gods laughing about this) and the edge was unraveling. I weighed in how much I cared and then said fuck it. I tied the dropped stitches together in a double knot and now I'M the one laughing. Showed them! (Dear knitting gods: Please don't kick me in the mouth. Love, Kim.)

Now I'm working on a Clapotis for Monkey King's mom. She requested beige, but I don't have any beige and I've been unable to hobble to a yarn store, so olive green it is. You know, I never thought I'd make this pattern, but I'm really enjoying it! It's perfect for TV knitting, so therefore it's the best possible project for my crippled ass.

And can I just say a huge THANK. YOU. to everyone for my last post? Seriously, I know I don't *know* know a lot of you guys, but I am just so touched that a record number of people commented on that ass-face with the rude comment. On the record, the coolest people read my blog. I'm lucky as hell to have you.

I have actual things to tell y'all! I'm doing Bikram yoga. My New Year's goals are to lose last year's fat gain and get overall healthier (also: spend less money on non-yarn and therefore unnecessary crap). Anyway, Bikram is the hot yoga where they turn the heat up to like 105 degrees and you sweat your face off. One of these nights I will have Monkey King take a picture of me when I walk in the door from class, for I am hilariously disgusting. I've gone six times so far and I can now do this thing where I grab my foot and pull it over my head. Then I fall on my face. It's very zen, trust me. Seriously, though, I love it even though I am the crappiest yogi ever.

On the knitting front, my brown sweater is complete. I haven't been able to do a "model shot" since I'm not really home during daylight. But here it is on a hanger:

I like it, but true confession time: I haven't even tried it on since before I blocked it. I know! I've been both too lazy and too busy (which is a weird state to be in) to try it on. Um, in case you're interested, it's yak/wool blend from Schoolhouse Yarns, 2 and maybe 1/4 skeins, size 8 Knitpicks circular needles and directions from Knitting without Tears. Pretty much my usual thing when it comes to sweaters. I dunno, maybe it needs a hood? It's a pretty plain-ass vanilla sweater, yak notwithstanding.

I've started another project, a scarf made using leftover Jaeger Trinity that I need to realize will just never leave my stash, ever. (I really need another scarf. I'm really lying. It's just an excuse to use up The Yarn That Won't Die.) It's going very slowly, but I might get more done on it if I only had more time to watch television. These hour and a half sessions of yoga really cut into my ass-sitting time. This scarf is curling like mad since it's mostly stockinette with a row of YOs, but I think a good, soaking wet blocking will help things a lot, and I don't mind a little bit of curl.

So for my birthday an anonymous, fake email-using cockwad gave me some unsolicited advice (last comment in the entry)! And it's pretty damn rude, too. Truly the gift that keeps on giving. Giving me headaches from rolling my eyes too far back, that is. So, thank you, fewfiaof@gjirowa.com, for the opportunity to test IP banning. Now go eat a well-used urinal cake. 

To end on a more positive note, here's my favorite shots (heavily photoshopped) from the gorgeous Leu Gardens in Orlando: