Authorities have issued a statewide womanhunt for the knitter responsible for what could be Northern Virginia's worst instance of yarn mutilation in recent memory.

Following an anonymous tip who wishes to be known only as "Boyfriend," police entered the suspect's apartment and stumbled upon the nightmare scene.

"There were...stitch markers...everywhere," stammered one shaken officer. "Jesus, man, just bits of fluff, all over. I've never seen anything like it, just utter yarnage."

Witnesses recall seeing the suspect, described as, "needing a shower," fleeing the scene.

The suspect may be armed with two pointy sticks and is considered highly dangerous in yarn stores. Please approach with caution, and a nice bottle of red wine.