I have been laughing on the inside for days thanks to my meeting with the counselor. Let's start from the beginning.

I arrived at the counseling office and was greeted by something trying to imitate a receptionist.

While I waited for somebody to acknowledge my presence (since the receptionist couldn't be bothered to, like, let anyone know I was there) (I mean, magazines don't wait to be read or anything), I listened in on the dumbest person in the universe attempt to type in their online application. The roar of their computer illiteracy was deafening. "WHAT KEY DO I HIT NOW? WHICH ONE IS TAB AGAIN?"

Finally, they left and the person who was helping them turned out to be the counselor.

I found a picture of him online:

Obviously this photo is from his younger days.

He beckoned me with his long, long fingernails (only a few were broken) into his eldritch cave office. I took in my surroundings, noting the piles of paper stacked up to the ceiling, the overflowing bookshelves, the lack of uncovered surfaces and the abundance of terrible prints "decorating" the walls. The only light came from the hallway. The smell was...furry.

He handed me a transcript waver and an old phone book I could use as a makeshift writing surface. With our knees touching as we crouched in the three feet of available floor space, we went over what my plans were.

"Business Administration? You mean...well, that used to mean...let's see what it's called these days." He flipped through a mouldering class schedule. "You see, in the old days we called it Secretarial Sciences. *leer* Then the name got changed, *chuckle* and it's something new these days. Say, are you sure you want this as your major? Really?" He gave me an incredulous look.

I thought to myself, "Well, fuck you too." I gave him a tight lipped smile.

After many uncomfortable minutes of him babbling while he looked for the course while I continued to study my dim surroundings (is that a knife hanging from the ceiling?), he finally found the elusive, and in his opinion, shitty major. I noticed he wore 7 copper arthritis bangles. I must admit, I softened a bit when I saw those. Until I saw the huge chunky rings and garish necklace and figured out that the copper bangles were actually meant as jewelry. Then I went back to disliking him. Even more, because men with more jewelry than Houston trophy wife are a personal pet peeve.

Then it was time to convince him that yes, I do want to go to school to learn how to make coffee and type real good. I mean, that's what people in administrative roles do. We answer the phone between coats of nail polish. After some back and forth he finally typed in whatever code he needed to type in to get me set up in the system. Once he hit the enter key, I stood up, nearly upset a precariously piled stack of catalogs, said thank you and booked it out of there into the light and fresh air.

So there we are, folks. I'm majoring in Business Administrative Science Specialty, in the evenings, and taking a few unnecessary classes to learn Korean. (Mr. Dirty Troll with Opinions didn't think too much of this either.) I start in May! Yippee!

Now I just have to wait for the new class schedule to land on my doorstep so I can pick and choose my classes. Exciting! More good news: My company has tuition reimbursement and the majority of my classes are like, totally eligible. Woot!