Thank you all for your kind, pro-one blog comments :)

Now, sweater news. I am 4 cm away from casting off for the armholes and doing the raglan shaping and guess what. Guess.

My gauge is off. Way off. Like, it is 3 (maybe 4) inches short in the width department.

Am I going to frog? Fuck no. I'm going to finish this piece and block the shit out of it and make it my bitch and maybe even butt-fuck it a little. I will enact the future sweater abuse for your viewing pleasure.

Kim's Theatre de Violent Sweater Blocking

Me: "Be 21 inches wide, you whore!" *wields sharp, glinty pins*

Sweater: "Please, have mercy, it's not my fault you knit too tight!"

Me: "If it weren't for your cheatin' skankin' ways I wouldn't be so tense! I pin you to a towel now!"

Sweater: "Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! And may I add, you are projecting your personal feelings of failure onto meeeeeeeee!" *dies, hopefully in the correct shape*

Fin.

Breaking Idiot News:

One of our employees, nicknamed Wiggy (cuz she wears a wig) (I'm totally serious) just came up to me to complain that the lights that the building manager replaced above her cube are TOO BRIGHT.

Huh? Wha? Too bright? Wha? Bitch, they are fluorescent. That means they are about as bright as a Glowworm doll. Besides that, wouldn't you want to have bright light at work? For reading? And stuff?

For the record, this is one of my most demanding work idiots. "I need this. I need that. I want this. Get me that." Like, hi, it's called overhead. We try to keep it low. But fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine, you inexplicably are in great need of a new cabinet although your current one is ALL RIGHT AS IS. Oh? You need lumbar support? Oh, the lumbar support I specially ordered for you is not good enough? How about this one? No? New chair? New markers set? New glare protector? WHY DON'T I JUST GIVE YOU MY FIRST BORN. WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP THEN? ARRRRRRRGH KIM MAD SMASH KILL!

TGIF, indeed.